MichaelH
TL;DR: Experienced 33-year-old player looking for an online weekend 5e 2024 game (preferably mornings as I like to keep my afternoon/evening open for plans) with kind people, battlemaps, tactical combat, dungeon crawling, high difficulty, and good vibes. I prefer Tier 2+, enjoy optimization without trying to break the game, and mostly just want to roll dice with fun adults who can communicate.
Hey folks!
I’m a 33-year-old man with a lovely and fulfilling life, but I’ve got this little problem: none of my IRL friends want to make time for D&D anymore.
We used to have a weekly in-person game for about two years that I treasured, but eventually life happened. Jobs, marriages, divorces, kids, busy schedules, shifting priorities, all that very normal adult stuff. I’m ready to dive back in with some like-minded people and roll some damn dice.
What I’m looking for:
Online game, preferably on weekends, preferably mornings (CST time zone)
5e 2024 rules
LGBTQ+ friendly
One-shots, mini-campaigns, existing campaigns, or long-form games are all cool with me
I prefer Tier 2 and beyond when possible
I don’t love spending a long time at levels 1–3
I strongly prefer battlemaps, tokens, pictures, and visual aids (Theater of the mind is hard for me to follow; I’m very visual and need to actually see what is happening)
Game style I’m hoping for:
Challenging combat
Classic dungeon crawls
Bosses and encounters that push the party to the limit
Hard but fair gameplay
High difficulty is great
Optimization is great
Character death is sad, but not the end of the world
If we fail, we fail. If my character dies, I’ll mourn them and then get excited to roll a new one.
I am not expecting to play with a group of theater majors or novelists. Totally fine if the DM isn’t one either. I just want to giggle, roll dice, fight scary monsters, make bad decisions in dark hallways, and play with an invested group of people who are present and trying their best.
Table vibe I’m looking for:
Kind people
Good vibes
Adults who can communicate
No sore losers
No players making the DM feel bad for running a hard but fair game
People who can laugh when things go sideways
Folks who care about the game without taking it so seriously that it stops being fun
I’m not big on tables with tons of homebrewed rules. I don’t mind some of the fun classics like hidden death saves, max rolls on crits, or a rule-of-cool moment here and there, but overall I tend to prefer sticking pretty close to the book.
I’m comfortable with darker or mature story themes, but let’s not be creeps. Gore, horror, religion, slavery, fantasy racism, children in peril, etc. are not automatic dealbreakers for me from a story perspective, but I still expect normal human boundaries and basic respect at the table.
A little about me as a player:
I’m outgoing, social, friendly, introspective, empathetic, analytical, and not particularly socially awkward
I’m not a spotlight hog
I love a good “yes, and”
I like cheering on other players and the DM
I enjoy roleplay, but I’m not trying to turn every scene into my personal monologue
I like doing a character voice so it’s clear when I’m speaking in or out of character
I love writing and being creative, but I will not subject you to a novel-length backstory
I know the rules very well and will not need hand-holding
I make mistakes, but I know how to play
Character/build style:
I love strategic gameplay and thinking through interesting builds.
I’m very partial to characters built around unique mechanical interactions with a focus on optimization, but I’m not trying to “break” D&D or ruin everyone’s good time by squeezing every allowance I can get out of the DM.
I just enjoy the puzzle of unique builds and rules interactions. It brings me a lot of satisfaction to play something a little unconventional that still works at the table.
Example: I played a straight Strength Sorcerer for a year, and he slapped.
LGBTQ+ note:
As a gay man, I try to help foster a safe and respectful space for folks. I’m not perfect and I make mistakes, but I do my best to respect people’s identities and preferences.
I’m also not the tone police and I don't take myself particularly seriously. I grew up as a gay boy in Texas; my skin is thick. I let things slide 99.9% of the time. If something crosses a line for me, I’ll let you know calmly and privately, but that is VERY rare.
Potential weaknesses as a player:
My memory can be spotty
I’m paying attention and I care, but I can struggle with names, faces, and subtle plot points
Because of that, I often RP characters who are also a little ditzy, hazy, old, fey-touched, or head-in-the-clouds, so it works in-world
Low INT, baby ;)
I may calmly and respectfully pipe up if I feel like a rule is being missed by the DM or another player. I’m used to playing with tables where I had a stronger grasp of the rules than most folks and sometimes served as the unofficial rulebook, so it’s an old habit.
That said, I’m not trying to be annoying. If it’s unnecessary, I won’t do it. If it bothers the table, I’ll stop.
Final note:
I’m totally fine joining an active campaign, and I won’t get my feelings hurt if after a session the group feels I’m not the right fit. I'm sure D&D can be a little like dating. If the chemistry is off, let’s just be adults, have a laugh about it, and go on our merry ways.
Hopefully you’ll show me the same courtesy. I’ll be honest, and I won’t ghost you.
If your table is kind, funny, combat-loving, and looking for an invested player who wants tactical dungeon-crawling with good people, I’d love to chat.